19 Days Left in Kansas

That's right folks. 19 days.

I can clearly remember my thoughts and emotions on my 19th day in Kansas; it was something along the lines of, "I really hope I make some friends soon, because I'm tired of watching Netflix."
And now, my thoughts most nights are closer to, "I haven't had time to catch up on my Netflix shows because I'm so busy hanging out with my friends."

I guess life could be worse.

On a more serious note, I am quickly realizing how difficult it will be to leave so many people that I have grown so fond of. When I arrived in Topeka, I prayed that I would grow to love the city and people I would meet so much that it would be difficult to leave. I expected this to take place over a year, but God had other plans and gave me an incredible base of community and fellowship in only 5 months. Praise the Lord.

I had the pleasure of attending a youth retreat with Fellowship Bible Church in Topeka this past weekend, and I am having trouble remembering the last time I had so much fun in one weekend. Everything from (accidentally) running full speed into a river, to watching Kansas stereotypes perpetuate themselves with folk worship on Sunday made this weekend a huge blessing.
The students at FBC, as a whole, impressed me very much. The amount of students in the youth group who are genuinely seeking God, and actively praying for him to move in them and through them is incredible and inspiring. I wish that I had been as serious about my faith at ages 15-18 as these students are. I had the chance to watch some of them worship and pray together like Jesus was real to them, like they were desperately seeking him, like they could not go another day without him speaking to them.
Their honest passion for the Gospel to change them inspired me, and gave me hope for my generation. Shoutout to Nick Strobel, the youth pastor of FBC, for letting God do incredible things through you. The students in your ministry are on fire!! I can't wait to see the places their genuine faith will take them, in Jesus name!

As I prepare to move back to Florida in 19 days, I would ask you to pray for me during this time of transition in a few simple ways:
1. As I shift from working in ministry full-time to working a regular job, please pray that Christ would still be my focus and my goal. I want to bring glory to his name with the work I do, no matter where I am.
2. Pray for my heart, that the changes that have taken place in me during my stay in Topeka will take root and change me to love people more for Christ's name.
3. Pray for my living/job situation in Tallahassee, that things would continue to develop and work out upon my return.

Thanks for reading, if you'd like to take a gander at the spiritual walk I have been on for the past five months, take some time and read previous blog posts and pray for me!

John3:30

-Daniel

P.S. The weather in Topeka is getting colder, this morning it was 18 degrees on my way to work. EIGHTEEN.

P.P.S. I love Topeka.

New Beginnings

Friends, Family, and Supporters,

First of all, let me say thanks to everyone who has been supporting me with prayers and financial support over these past few months. God has been incredibly good to me, and I really feel like I have a more personal walk with Christ, and my desires have been changed to seek Christ in everything that I do. We (TMP and I) have had a mutual changes in plans recently, in regards to my previous update.
If you haven't read the previous update, allow me to bring you up to speed:

It was brought to my attention recently that the money I raised as support for my year in Kansas is quickly running out, we have had to raise the required monthly amount since my arrival, because we did not realize how expensive living would be, as well as trying to manage some curveballs (car troubles, minor health issues, finding new housing, etc.) that we did not see coming. I have the chance to stay in Kansas and split time between working at Trash Mountain Project, and a part time job to make up the difference in support, as well as moving in with a few close friends I have made.  Due to the circumstances we are prayerfully considering what my next move will be.

Yesterday, in a meeting, we considered the pros and cons of keeping me in Kansas for the next 6 months after Christmas. As we began listing the pros, I fully trusted that God could continue to teach me things and develop me as a person, but I just could not bring myself to say that I felt called to stay in Kansas. The con list far outweighs the list of pros, and have the potential to make life hard on myself and TMP, which is not my intention. We decided after the meeting yesterday that we would begin to take steps towards sending me home in the first week December.

Although I thought God was calling me to be here for a year, he had other plans. But I am very excited to see where God is leading me next as I make my trip home and begin to do his will in Florida. I know that my hope is in Christ, and by fulfilling his call on my life to move back home I know he will reveal himself to me.

Neither Trash Mountain Project nor myself consider this move a failure. I came to Kansas 5 months ago with a desire for God to move in me and to change me to desire Him, and ultimately grow closer to him; and I feel like that is exactly what happened during this time here. This is just an opportunity for me to apply what I have learned in these past 5 months back home. We thought God was calling me to a year in Kansas, but he took a year's worth of grown and action packed it into 5 months! 

I'm sure some of you are wondering about the remaining support money, and what our intentions are with it. Only the necessary amount will be cut to me to help me move back to Tallahassee, FL, and the remaining amount will go towards the last leg of my internship; a trip with TMP to the Philippines in the upcoming summer. 

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the end of my time here in Kansas. It took me awhile to warm up to life in Topeka, but thanks to some truly amazing friends I know that the Midwest will always hold a piece of my heart. 

Thanks to Zach P. for almost going to like 50 shows with me, and for playing music with me.

Thanks to Jack for being a great leader in your school and at Reverb, and for getting excited about SEU Worship with me.

Thanks to Zach T., Michael, David, Tessa, Morgan, Haley, Jared & Sydney, Caleb & Carey, and Trevor for taking me in to your group of friends and making me feel like I belong, even if everything is a coke to me ;) I cannot express how grateful I am for each and every one of you, and your generosity towards me. You have all helped me realize the type of friend I want to become as I head home. Keep me in the GroupMe, so I can stay updated on your lives!
Thanks to everyone else for the great laughs and experiences that made my time in Topeka unforgettable, you will all be dearly missed!

Thanks to the TMP staff, your encouragement and support around the office have not gone unnoticed these past few months! I have always appreciated every time someone has made lunch for me, or had me over for dinner, and I will miss you all very much! Continue to do God's will, and focus the heart of this incredible mission where he is leading you! 

My last month in Topeka will be tough to swallow, but I am very excited to be back in Florida in a little less than a month! I am very excited to see how God is going to use me and stretch me to further his kingdom!! Soli Deo Gloria!!

John3:30

-Daniel

Looking Ahead

Friends, Family, and Support team,

Thank you so much for your prayers and support over the past 4 months, my time in Topeka, so far, has been a growing experience beyond anything I could have dreamed to pray for.

It was brought to my attention recently that the money I raised as support for my year in Kansas is quickly running out, we have had to raise the required monthly amount since my arrival, because we did not realize how expensive living would be, as well as trying to manage some curveballs (car troubles, finding proper clothing for the weather, etc.) that we did not see coming. Due to the circumstances we are prayerfully considering what my next move will be.

I have the option to stay with some great friends of mine in Kansas, and pick up another job on the side to begin splitting time with TMP and working somewhere else. I believe that this would still be beneficial to spend 3-4 days per week at the office, and continue to gain wisdom from the leaders of the ministry. This would be stressful, however, I know my Father in heaven will take care of me if I continue to pursue his calling on my life in Kansas. This situation is a test of faith, and I want to remain faithful to God who called me to Kansas until he finishes his work in me here. My plan is to do whatever is possible to keep me in Kansas until God clearly shows me that I need to be back in Florida.

I am encouraged to have received the grace to react to this situation with such confidence in Christ to sustain me and reveal himself to me. It is just evidence that God is changing my heart, my will, and my affections. Three months ago, if something would have come up that would have made it possible for me to go back to Florida with a legitimate excuse, I would have jumped at the opportunity to drop everything in Kansas and run back to my home state. Now, in stead, I am terrified of being anywhere Jesus is not calling me to be so that he can change me.
Praise God for changing my heart to desire to do his will.

If you are wondering how you can help, I need prayer for the situation; that God would make himself known to me and that I would have the humility and discernment to listen and respond to his calling.

Thank you all, again for your continued prayers and support! I miss everyone in Florida dearly, and cannot wait to see you all (hopefully) soon!

Soli Deo Gloria

-Daniel

J O Y

Hello!

I apologize for the lack of updates recently, things in Topeka have been busy, busy, busy. Between work, volunteering at church, and making time for friends, I struggle to find time to update my blog, but I hope to get better about keeping everyone up to date on my life in Kansas!

Very excited for the coming month(s) in Kansas, because of the B-E-A-utiful weather we have been experiencing! Most days have been in the mid-high 60's, and at night temperatures often drop into the 40's-30's! For about 30 minutes, a few days ago, rain began to fall along with some wet snow! It was the first time I have seen real snow (even though most people in Topeka would not claim this to be real snow since I was about 5 years old! The weather this week is not supposed to read the 60's, and many nights will be in the low 30's, which is unreal, considering my friends in Florida are still sweating as they walk from their house to their car.

This weekend was very eventful and relaxing at the same time. I traveled with some friends about 20 minutes east of Topeka to a 'legendary' tradition among Topekans (is that a word?) called Gary's Berries Pumpkin Patch and Corn Maze. This is just as much fun as it sounds like.
We spent the next hour lost in a corn maze, which was surprisingly exciting, and surrounded by farm animals and all the elements of fall in Kansas. I had never been through a corn maze, but it definitely exceeded my expectations, and I was happy to be spending the weekend with such great friends.

On Sunday, I visited a new church and spent the rest of the day with my friends Haley and Tessa. As they studied I wrote poetry and caught up on some reading; but we made sure to spend some time unwinding with a bonfire and foil dinners to cap off a near perfect weekend. I feel energized and well rested after a fun weekend.

Early last week I began experiencing frequent chest pains, similar to some I have felt off and on for 2 years, or so. But, these were very frequent and excruciatingly painful. I took a trip to the ER to see if there was any imminent danger in the pain, but the doctors could find nothing from an EKG and a chest X-Ray. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow at 2:45 (cst), so please be praying that the doctor would be able to accurately asses the cause of the pain. I am confident that whatever is going on will only work to glorify the name of Christ.

Also, I have started working out with some close guy friends (insert laughter here). On Saturday we worked out arms, chest, back, and abs; and even today I am painfully sore. Hopefully I can start to drop some of the dead weight I have gained over the past few years and bring back my 16 year old healthy self. Stay tuned for results and progress photos.

Although times have been good in Topeka, and my circumstances have greatly improved, I am still trying to remind myself daily that my joy is found in Christ alone. My great friends and awesome job are not my hope and security, they didn't die in my place to save me from my sins. But I know, as a believer, I am able to enjoy these great gifts from God so much more because I understand he has given them to me in the perfect time. I am grateful for mercy today, and for the  gifts God has given me to point me back to him!

Soli Deo Gloria

-Daniel

Busy Weekend/ Post Spoken Update!

What a crazy weekend! TMP's biggest fund raiser event of the year (Spoken) was this weekend and has consumed the bulk of everyone's time in the office for early a month now.

On Friday I arrived at the office at 8am and did not leave until after 6:30pm. Saturday I was up and going at 7:30am, and after a hard days work, a trip to the airport, and a staff dinner I was in bed around 11:45pm. And then, the longest day of them all, Sunday I was at Capital Plaza Hotel loading in our tech equipment at 6:15am and spent the whole day setting up, taking care of the leaders and out of town guests, and then tearing down and transporting all our equipment. I finally found myself in bed around 1am. Then I spent Monday morning unloading our equipment back into the TMP office.

Needless to say, I am exhausted from a long weekend. Even though I cannot ever remember being this tired, I am overwhelmed by a peace that my labor is not in vain. Seeing the faces of children and hearing the stories of the families who are still working and dying on these trash dumps has reminded me of my purpose as a part of the ministry of Trash Mountain Project. I am blessed and honored to be working with a ministry of such integrity and calling.

This weekend was productive, donations are still coming in from Spoken, and we are excited to see how God used our words to call people to think globally, and how they will respond to the need they have heard about at the event.

I  have been going through Matthew lately and the beatitudes at the beginning of the sermon on the mount are a great reminder of the promise God has for those who recognize their need for him. I am praying that God would always keep me humbled, and that I would wake up each day reminded of how much I need Jesus.

Things to be praying for:
Wisdom as I begin to think about what to do after my internship.
A hunger for the Word of God daily.
Humility, patience, and self control.

John3:30

-Daniel

Good Reminders

Things in Topeka have been so so so busy this past week, but we are quickly approaching our Spoken 2013 fundraiser this weekend!

The past few days I have greatly missed my family and friends back home. As I have explained in previous posts, I go through cycles where I am fine,and then, all of the sudden, it seems like, I miss my friends in Tallahassee or my family in Lakeland SO much.

I was feeling greatly discouraged over the past few days, because I still feel like I have so much time before I get to go home, and I prayed last night that God would comfort me in this time where my spirits are low.

This morning Pastor Jeony, one of TMP's partners in Honduras, came into the office to talk to the team. He arrived with his wife from Honduras last night and will be staying through the weekend for Spoken.

The whole office set aside over an hour of our time to listen to the story of how he started working in the trash dump community in Tegucialpa, Honduras; and the story blew my mind. He talked about the ministry and how God had his hand on it when they were confused, overwhelmed, and understaffed, and how he is still working in their midst to grow their faith as they seek to bring the Gospel of Jesus to the community. He then proceeded to praise the work that TMP is doing in Honduras for nearly 15 minutes and encouraging us to not lose heart, but with every little thing we do that seems insignificant, to remember that we are changing lives with the work we do.

His wife explained how 95% of the families who come through his program are in discipleship programs, how they had 17 students baptized last week,  and how they have seem many youth come to saving faith in Christ and they are dedicated to sharing with their friends and family.
Probably the most encouraging statistic from this morning was that there are 10 babies in the nursery in Honduras who will go their whole lives never having to work on the trash dump in their life, this is the first generation since the dumps have opened that will not have to rely on the trash to make a living.

I am overwhelmed with purpose, and comfort that came just a few hours after I petitioned God for it. Praise the Lord for answering my prayers, and hearing me in my doubt and uncertainty.
Please continue to pray for me, and for TMP and the work we are doing overseas. Also be praying for our fund raiser event this weekend, so that we can continue to provide the best care for the people in need all over the world.

John3:30

-Daniel

Update!

Sorry I haven't updated in awhile! Things have been crazy busy lately with Spoken 2013 approaching this coming Sunday!

Things have been going well, but busy as always. I've been encouraged by some new friends I've been making over the past few weeks who have been very intentional about getting to know me and inviting me to be a part of their group of friends. I've been overwhelmed by the amount of love I've received from them, and realized how blessed I am to have friends wherever God chooses to send me, in his timing.

VERY exciting news: my brother Steven will be in Topeka for Thanksgiving! I could not be any more excited to have my brother in town with me for the holiday, and shortly after he leaves, I will be joining him in Tallahassee! I am very much looking forward to seeing all my friends again, and then going home to Lakeland for Christmas. It all seems like SO far away in my head, but I know these next 6 weeks will fly by, and before I know it, I'll be home with my family.

Its crazy to believe that I have begin my 3rd month in Topeka this past week. I am still humbled, and honored to be a part of what's going on in the ministry, and blessed to have the opportunity to gain experience working for a ministry like Trash Mountain Project.

Please be praying for me as I continue to seek direction for my life, and as I begin to think about plans for after my time in Kansas, and please be praying for the Spoken fundraiser this weekend! This is our once-a-year fund raiser where most of our support comes in from, so we need God to show up in big ways so that the organization can grow and be more effective in reaching people with the Gospel!

I miss everyone a ton, and can't wait to see you all soon!

John3:30

-Daniel

Getting Lost and Finding Your Way

Last nightwas an adventure, to say the least. My dear friend Greg decided to take myself, his son Zach, my host dad, and host brother on a little trip near the governor's mansion where there are some trails in the woods nearby.

This is no problem for a directionally gifted person like myself, except that Greg's purpose was to get us lost, and have us find our way back.

It's very dark outside, and after maybe 15 minutes of walking/running into the woods Greg has the team shut off all of our lights and try to find our way back.

This was incredibly difficult because our eyes had become adjusted to having a small light in front of us, and were not able to receive complete darkness well. The first 5 minutes of our journey back as spend trying to let our eyes adjust to where we could see the path we had just walked.

After some time we made it back, and it was a lot of fun to journey through the woods with some fun guys. But, just as we were approaching the exit to the woods, Greg dropped a huge truth bomb.

He began to explain a spiritual application to our little adventure, which helped give me more clarity on why God is choosing to work in me in such mysterious ways.

He explained how when we walk in complete darkness our eyes can't focus, and it can be easy for us to be led onto a path that will take us places we don't want to go. Psalm 119:105 says, "Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet; and a light unto my path."

In a world that is often described as dark and cruel the only source of light we have is the Word of God, and the hope we have in Christ. During times of darkness, we have to view the words of God as a light that will guide us out of an unfamiliar area that we cannot see in.

Admittedly, I have done a horrible job of this. I have viewed the Bible as a tool that might  be useful in helping me find joy in Kansas. But the Bible is going to be essential in me discovering the way Christ has called me during my time in Topeka. I need to be fed spiritually every day from the Word of God.
Please pray that I would hunger for the word of God, that I would crave it and desire it more than anything in my life.

Among this, I have been struggling to find my worth and identity in Christ.
As,wonderful as it is, I have found some friends whose company I genuinely enjoy. Several times over the past few weeks I have had the joy of being around people (nearly) my own age, who love Jesus, and want each other to grow spiritually.

But the problem is me.

I have been doing everything possible, since meeting these people, to make them like me. I hope that with every time we hang out together, that I will be invited back. My desperation for friendship is not spiritually healthy, or honoring to God.

My salvation has nothing to do with what my friends think of me. My worth is not based upon what anyone in the world think of me, but is based solely on the fact that Christ has taken my sin and given me his perfect record of righteousness to stand blameless before God. I don't have to strive to fit in with anyone (although it would be nice) because, as cliche as it sounds, Christ has made me who I am for a reason and the right people will appreciate that at the right time. That being said, I am extremely grateful for my new friends who have been spending some time with me lately, they have made me feel welcome in a foreign place, and have taken time to get to know me, which is very refreshing in times like these.

God is still working in me, please pray earnestly that I would respond to God tugging on my heart. I always want to hear the Spirit's voice guiding me, and remembering scripture to light the path in front of me.

Prayer requests:
-A love for reading the Bible, and a hunger for more of God's word in my life.
-A bold love for Christ, evident to the people I come in contact with as a part of TMP.
-Desire to understand and better apply the importance of integrity, and accountability.
-Rest during a busy time of year.
-Joy in the Lord through surrendering my will for God's, submitting to his power over my life, and sacrificing myself for the well being of others.

John3:30

-Daniel

PS: I apologize for any typing mistakes, this was written late at night and I am slightly delirious.

Becoming more like Jesus.

Over the past month, I've been listening to Matt Chandler sermons every chance I get. And today I listened to one that blew my mind about the process of becoming more like Jesus.

I feel like one of the problems with accepting Christ at such a young age is that you cannot come to a full understanding of the problem of sin. My sin has fails to be a big deal to me sometimes, and because of that, I don't understand my inability to change myself or to be better than I am now. I tend to approach my life with a "white-knuckle" or "I can try harder" mentality, where I constantly try to make people happy, and I consistently fail in my efforts to be a better person for that reason. I'm learning that in my relationship with God it is not about how hard I try or what my efforts can achieve.

"In the great exchange between you and God the only thing you bring to the table is your sin that makes salvation necessary" - Matt Chandler

Understanding how little I bring to the table makes my need for Christ a great deal, and my need for him to change me even greater.  I have been feeling weary lately in my attempt to pursue God. I've been trying to be better by reading my Bible more, and praying more. But I will fail, I will slip up.

The only way I can become more like Jesus, is if he changes me. I couldn't do anything to save myself, and I am still powerless to make myself better. Jesus is the only one who can change me, and it starts with me fixing my eyes on him.

This has become a monumentally more difficult/simple process all at the same time, since moving to Kansas. I don't have any of the distractions that I used to have when I left Florida, but at the same time my heart still feels like it needs those things, when all it really needs is Jesus.

Please be praying that my eyes would not be looking for comfort, security, or joy in anything but Jesus. I want to become more like Jesus, in efforts to be the man Jesus is calling me to be.

John3:30

-Daniel

PS: I really enjoyed Skyping with some friends from Lakeland and Tallahassee this week! If you want to Skype sometime, text me! 785-409-4782

September 22, 2013

I feel like this month has completely flown by. I feel like the month of August took forever to get over with, and I can't seem to remember where my time went this month.

Nevertheless, this month is nearly over, and I am encouraged to find that Topeka is starting to feel more like home. It's by no means home yet, but I'm starting to get more acquainted with the city itself, and even some of the people who live here.

I have loved the people who have taken the time to get to know me, and who have spent time with me, but many people in Topeka are hard to get to know. It's not that I mean to speak bad of the people here, but most of them are very settled into their routine and their own friend group. I'm sure that I was the same way when I was living in Tallahassee, or Lakeland with my friends. But, if I'm learning anything while I've stayed here, it's that I'm learning about the kind of friend I want to become when I go home.


Many of the people in Topeka have lived here there whole lives, and their parents and family still live here as well. This makes it difficult for someone to come in from a place like Florida and try to pry my way into a circle of people who have grown up together, attended each other's weddings, and had their kids grow up together. So, when I visit a new church as a prospective regular attender, many people will politely introduce themselves, and even be surprised when I say that I just moved up from Florida, but rarely does someone take the time to invite me to sit with them, or get to know me. The times this has happened have become even more sweet, and refreshing than they ever could have without feeling such disconnect between myself and the people around me.*

But through this experience I'm learning about the kind of friend I want to become. When I find a church here, and even when I return home, I never want someone to walk into the doors of the church and feel unwanted. The church shouldn't be a place where someone comes in and feels like they have to offer something to be accepted, or even know people to be accepted. We (myself included) should  always be welcoming and inviting to newcomers, even if it forces an awkward moment, or is an inconvenience. I never want to sit idly by at a church full of my friends while someone feels alone, or isolated at the same church. I would encourage you as your weeks goes on, in your jobs, churches, campus ministries, and everyday lives to reach out to those who are alone. You never know how God will use you for saying a few passing words, or introducing yourself to someone who looks lost, or looks as if they just need a friend. Jesus would have acted the same way, and I feel like it's something I will forever be continuing to work on as I strive to find his will for my life and become more like him.

I want to be a better friend, to be used by Jesus more, please hold me to this if you check up on me, and lift me up in prayer to be a better friend.

John3:30

-Daniel

Ezekiel with Isaac.

Recently, due to my pledge to read the Bible more, I have been going through the book of Ezekiel with one of my best friends, Isaac. I would be willing to bet that most of the people reading this blog have never gone through the book of Ezekiel before, because I never had until Isaac told me that he was, and we could keep each other accountable to our desire to seek God in his word. We have been reading 2 chapters a day, and calling one another (almost) every night to catch up on where we saw God in the passage, and how our hearts are doing in our ministry.

So, Ezekiel.

The first two chapters were a lot. Ezekiel is sitting by the side of this river in Babylon during Israel's exile, when all of the sudden he hears God's voice and sees the four creatures that have a way of popping up at different times in the Bible (the standard 4 faces, wings, feet like calves, wheels with thousands of eyes, proclaiming the presence of an almighty God that you'd expect from the Ruler of the universe). Ezekiel is fearful, and falls on his face in reverence, but as God begins to explain to him what he has in store he commands him to stand up and be ready.

As Isaac and I talked about how cool this was, we struggled to find a real applicable theme in the first two chapters. But we definitely discovered, through conversation, some of what God commands of us as believers today.

Looking at Ezekiel's reverence, and how God commanded him to stand before he explained how he would use him to bring the Gospel to Israel, we ought to take the same posture when God calls us to do his work. We are always to be reverent of God, but when the time comes for us to go, we must be ready to act. We must be prepared to do the will of God at a moments notice, because we never know when God could call us to do something big. But also, our reverence is important. Every time we get near the holiness of God we should check ourselves just a little bit because we have done nothing to deserve a place in his presence, but, in fact, have done everything to earn ourselves death in his sight. But, Christians can rejoice because God's holy justice is buffered by his perfect love. We have the pleasure of serving a God how is holy in justice towards those who rebel against him, but also perfect in love and mercy towards those he has redeemed and called according to his purposes.

As I kept reading through chapter 4, several points kept coming up as God was telling Ezekiel where to go and what to do. God kept telling Ezekiel to preach boldly, to tell the rebellious people of Israel that the wrath of God was coming, but he said that some would not listen. Some people Ezekiel would talk to would let his words pass through their ears and not change.

This definitely has an application to today; we are called by God to share the Gospel always. We are supposed to be intentional with non-believers to share the good news with them, but there will be people who will not want anything to do with God, or the message we bring. Which brings the point around; God is sovereign, he has not called us to change lives, but to be obedient and share the good news. People have never saved other people, we are all broken just the same, but God is the one who changes people. The only difference between me and the worse serial killer on death row right now is Jesus. Jesus changes people, we are just called to preach in boldness and clarity as we speak the truth of the Gospel in love.

Chapters 5 & 6 gave me some more clarity as to why God called me into Kansas, and were full of wisdom about God, but in a different way than I am used to seeking it.

Chapters 5 & 6 were all about how God plans to "spend [His] fury" on Israel for their idolatry. Idolatry in the Bible has never been something that God has dealt with lightly, and their are gruesome details explaining God's plan for Israel because of how their hearts have turned from him to things he created. His jealousy for the hearts of his people is clearly displayed in the seriousness of his discipline towards his people.

Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." So that same jealous God is still on the throne calling us away from idolatry. I was worshipping the comfort of friendships, the convenience of having my family close by, and trying to find my joy and satisfaction in my surroundings. But God's seriousness of his jealousy for my hearts affection has been clearly displayed in how he called me out to Kansas to get me isolated from distractions and all the idols I used to worship. He is wanting my heart; all of it. 

I am praying that this time i spend reading the Bible every day would be fruitful, and that I would continue to learn more about God and his desire to capture my heart and use me. Please be praying that I have a genuine hunger to see God work in and through me.

I realize that I forgot to put a picture of the Flint Hills in my last post, so here's a picture or two.

Yes, this really is Kansas.

John3:30

-Daniel

September 17, 2013: Week 7

Sorry again, for being so sparse with the updates. TMP has been acquiring some new office space, and things have been crazy trying to get settled into the new space.

This weekend was, all at once, a blessing and a curse. On Saturday I woke up (too) early to go run a concession stand at Upward Football's location in Topeka. The kids were playing flag football all morning, and I left exhausted. But, the good news here, all of the money I make from running the stand will go to my support fund to hopefully extend my stay in Topeka!

I got done packing up and taking inventory quickly, because I was planning on going to the K-State football game that evening with my host family's oldest son, Chandler, whom I went to the DOminican Republic with in 2011. I was honestly very excited for the experience, because I have never been to a college football game outside of Florida, and my mom is a huge K-State fan! The drive from Topeka to Manhattan is surprisingly gorgeous. Whoever said Kansas is ALL flat and boring deserves a slap on the wrist. About 20 minutes outside Topeka you run into the Flint Hills (Pictures at the bottom), which nearly won the prize for prettiest scenery since my drive up. But quickly after arriving back on campus, I realized how much I missed Tallahassee, and the atmosphere of game day. This is not a bad thing to miss, but I let myself dwell on it entirely too long. Its obvious, yet crucial, that when I am dwelling on how much I miss Florida, I forget how much I am blessed and what God has called me to do.

I became a little more upset after visiting my 4th church in Topeka that doesn't have a college ministry. The process of trying out churches by myself gets a little routine disheartening. Although, I trust that once I find a church it will be very important that I immerse myself in its community, and it will play a big role in my development as a Christ follower. With that goal in mind, I press on with church visits.

Last night I called one of my best friends, Isaac, and talked with him about my heart, and trying to make sure it stays in the right place.
We talked about how I know my joy is in Christ, but I fail often to meet him where he comes to me in his word and in prayer. Thinking about how I have been slacking on reading my Bible lately, I re-read a quote I took down from a pastor at my home church in Lakeland a few years back:

"The sufficiency of scripture recognizes that we have everything we need for salvation and life in the canonical word. "Salvation belongs to The Lord alone" (Jonah 2:9).  It does not come from within us but to us from heaven, as a rescue operation of the triune God. And the form in which this gospel comes normatively to us here and now is scripture. Even preaching is the word of God only insofar as it proclaims the commands and promises issued by these sacred texts. The Bible is not the product if spiritual geniuses, sensitive gurus, and religious sages who can help us find God; it is the revelation from The God who seeks and saves the lost even while they are running from him."

I understand in my heart that the gospel will come to me when I read the Word of God, but I fail to make time for it, even though I know it will give me joy to read and discover more  of Christ and his plan for me. I have much time to spend repenting of, what boils down to be, my unbelief in the power of God's word.

Please pray that my joy would be restored to me through reading the Bible and prayer. Often times it feels like I don't have much else to rejoice in, but I know my salvation will never be taken from me. Hebrews 13:8 gives me reason to rejoice, saying, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."

I have committed to reading the Bible more, and trying to start every day empty-handed, so that God can fill me and use me for his will. Please pray that this would be come a habit that would extend well past my time in Kansas, and change my life to know God more, love his word more, and to love his people more.

John3:30

-Daniel

Fall is here.

Fall weather has taken over Kansas in a matter of days! I could not be more excited to experience the coming seasons and the change that will come with them; both in nature, and in life!

The past few days have been busy, I'm sorry I haven't been writing as frequently as I'd like to, but I hope to find some more time to write about how God is changing me.

One of the greatest compliments I receive from my friends and family is to hear that I make them proud, and to hear that they are excited for what God is doing in my life. I have been extremely humbled recently to hear several of my friends tell me how proud they are of me, and telling me that they have been praying for God to change my heart, and it was a blessing for them to hear about all he is doing. Praise the Lord for godly friends who care for me, and pray for my well-being.

But, not all the news is good today, I have to admit that I've been very slack on doing my devotions every day. I will sometimes, instead of reading the Bible, watch a sermon or read a book that I'm going through with the man who is discipling me; but I really need to get back into to word. Please pray that I would be craving God's word, that I would be focused when I am reading, and that I would have discernment to see how it applies to me becoming a man of God. I want to be better equipped to serve after this year, and I believe in my head that the word of God will change me, I just need faith to carry it out in my actions by studying it.

I've been learning a lot about repentance from Matt Chandler sermons lately, and he had a very cool quote that I want to share about repentance:
"Our motivation to repent of sins is not of guilt but of an understanding that we have offended God and in that offense, God sent JEsus to die on the cross for us and that our justification in front of God alone is by the cross alone and by no act of our own merit. And that kindness, when we understand our depravity that we've sinned against God and his response has been the cross, that leads us to repentance."

Very strong words, but some I needed to hear. Every time I sin it is against God, and God alone. But even when I sin, the cross is greater than my sin. I don't need shame to motivate my repentance, because shame is guilt driven. But repentance is driven by the grace of the cross, to remind us that God is worth so much more than our sin. We don't have to white-knuckle anything to make up for the bad we've done, but we can rest in grace that overflows from the Father. What an amazing truth to run back to in times of despair.

Please be praying for an unspoken request I have, and be praying that at least one of my family members can visit me for Thanksgiving!

John3:30

-Daniel

Cycles.

I have come to realize that my life in Kansas goes through cycles, very much like the one I experienced nearly a week ago.

I am still struggling very much with my identity in Christ, and trying to find my hope and security in Him instead of finding it in my friends and family back home (all of whom I miss very much).
After last week, when God really took time to bring me to my knees and come to the realization that He is the only thing I have and the only thing I need, I felt secure and confident that the work God is doing in my life was going to be worth it. But, being a terrible sinner, I am yet again struggling with unbelief in God's plan for my life. I know in my head that God is good, and that he is working in my life in ways tat I cannot even begin to imagine as he prepares my heart for a life time of serving him. But I still find myself missing Florida and feeling separated and vulnerable from everything I love.

 Honestly, it is so hard for me to be in Kansas. I have never longed for anything like I long for my family, and friends back in Florida. I have never felt such deep emotions for a place like back home. But God is revealing himself to me as the one thing in my life that is always with me. And every time I wonder if moving 1,300 miles outside my comfort zone to discover God's will for my life is worth it, I fail to believe the Gospel and what it promises me. I trade my doubt and worry for the security and comfort of the Gospel, and I am tired of going through this cycle! I wish I could believe wholeheartedly that Christ IS enough for me, and that Christ WILL satisfy my heart if I seek him, but I fail to do so and leave myself , instead, wondering if God's promised work will be worth missing my friends.

Tonight I took time on my knees to repent of my unbelief. I do not want to believe any longer that my struggle cannot be overcome by the God who saved me, and gave me his Spirit to guide me always. God is still working on me, and I can boil it down to this one idea (which is more than I had last week):

God has my body. He has it right where he wants it. My head knows that this is where I am supposed to be. My head knows that too many doors were opened for this not to be the place God has called me to work in me. But He is relentlessly pursuing my heart to believe that He is good, and that he is enough to satisfy my empty heart. He is working in me to believe with my life that He is worth my struggle. He is calling me to rest in his sufficiency for my life in any circumstance. The cross was enough to cover my sin, my worry, my doubt, and my unbelief.

The cycle is complete. Yet again, I find myself convicted of my sin, and repenting of my unbelief. What a great feeling to know that God cares about my stubble, and even in my unbelief of his work, which has proved itself time and time again, he longs for me to run back to his trustworthy embrace.

Please pray that God would keep working to rid me of my unbelief, and that I would fall into the grace that he has given me. I have a strong desire in my heart to see God use me, and do great things in his name through me. I know for a fact that the work he is preparing me to do while I am in Kansas will be more powerful than I can dream of writing into words, but my sinful heart wants the result of God's preparation without going through the hard work of God preparing my heart. Please pray that I would continue to abide in grace, and rest in Christ's work on the cross and in my life.

As I wrap this entry up, I feel compelled to share something.
Please don't let my struggle turn you off to letting God work in you life in tough areas. The struggle I am encountering is reminding me that God is close, and that he is working to mold me into a man who will be effective in serving Him. I would encourage you to pray to open your life to letting God work in a way that will be hard, but ultimately would make you need Jesus. Moving away from my comfort zone has been the hardest experience of my life to endure, but I have never felt closer to God, and I have never desired to see him work in me more than during this time. It might be healthy for some of you reading this to pray that God would take you outside of your comfort zone to experience what it's like to need Jesus.
Or maybe not, I'll leave that between you and God.
But, I pray that this blog would affect some of you to love Jesus more and to see that doing scary things for God will result in a deeper understanding of grace and God's will for your life, just as this journey is doing in my life.

John3:30

-Daniel

Church Visits, Church Visits, and More Church Visits.

For the past few weeks I have been visiting different churches around the Topeka area promoting TMP's biggest fund-raising event of the year, and I have observed a few really encouraging things.

I listened to a Pastor talk about how in the early church, during the Roman occupation, Christians felt very out of control. But the way God moved in them to fix this problem was to combine two streams: Compassion and Evangelism. Many churches believe that the goal of the church is to do acts of service, and treat physical, emotional, financial, and material needs of the impoverished. While other churches would say that you cannot focus on the aforementioned needs, but have to solely provide care for spiritual needs, even going so far as to say that they would not send people with full stomachs to hell.

God moved in a powerful way in the early church, visible in Acts 1, where the disciples were sharing everything and selling possessions to be able to support one another, but also boldly declaring the Gospel where it needed to be preached.

These two streams were separated in the middle ages, but in the last 100 years have come back together, and TMP partnering with the churches of Topeka is a perfect example of the merging of these two streams.

Trash Mountain Project, o the surface, may seem to focus its work on the physical needs of the communities we are planted in. But, by partnering with local churches, we are planting churches all over the world to bring the hope of Jesus Christ to a people group that not many people know exist.

It has been very encouraging to see God work though TMP and Topeka churches to combine the compassion and evangelism into a common purpose aimed at these communities in poverty.

I am still "shopping" for churches, but appreciate the encouragement and prayers from everyone!

John3:30

-Daniel

Encouraging Times.

Thank you to everyone who has texted, emailed, called, or messaged me words of encouragement and scripture. I am grateful beyond words for your support, and belief in what God is doing in my heart.

The past week has been a roller coaster. Even though I'm still dealing with homesickness (for lack of better word) and things of that sort, now when confronted with anxiety my answer is Christ. Work does a pretty good job of keeping me busy (more on that below) but the past few days I have gotten this crazy feeling on my way home from work. I catch my self thinking about how crazy it is that I landed in the middle of nowhere, Topeka, Kansas, to get to the center of God's will for my life and to grow spiritually. It is a satisfying feeling to miss your friends, but turn to Christ and know you are exactly where you are supposed to be. If I had chosen not to come to Kansas, I do not know if I would be feeling the same satisfaction in my heart.

Work has been busy, we are expanding into more office space behind our current office space, so the past few weeks have been filled with painting, cleaning, and restoring the back office space as well as learning how to successfully maintain the aquaponics facility under TMP's care. I am loving getting to work with a ministry like TMP where I can be used to help lighten the load of the full time staff so they can focus on 'saving the world' as I like to tease them about. God as blessed me with an opportunity to gain hands-on experience, and to grow closer to him during this time, and I can rest in the goodness of His plan for my life.

In other news: MY MOM SENT ME A CARE PACKAGE AND IM SO EXCITED I HAD TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS. It should arrive on Saturday, right around the time I start crying from excitement.

I am leading a small group through Fellowship Bible Church of 11th grade boys, and we had our first meeting last night! I have 4 killer 16-17 year olds that I will get to see God work through and change right before my eyes. PLEASE pray that my ministry to them is effective, and that they would hunger and thirst for God, and to know him. I am very encouraged by our first meeting, we ended up laughing and sharing some of our favorite things with each other nearly the entire night. I am looking forward to God moving in them during the course of the school year.

Thanks again for your continued prayers and support, I have been very encouraged by all of you. Please keep emailing, texting, calling, or messaging me on Facebook if you have questions or something that you think would encourage me! God bless.

John3:30
HE must increase, I must decrease.

-Daniel

Overwhelmed and Encouraged.

Since my last post, I have been overwhelmed with encouragement from friends, family, and people I have never met in my life. The feeling of support has swept over me like a mighty wind of grace that I can't help but fall on my knees and thank God for his perfect mercy in my life. 

Emails, calls, texts, and Facebook messages from believers have been reminding me that Christ is sufficient in my struggle, and he will prevail and have the victory over my unbelief. 

Today, my friend Caleb called me and encouraged me with Isaiah 61 which says, 

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to bring good news to the poor;

he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim liberty to the captives,

and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor,

and the day of vengeance of our God;

to comfort all who mourn;

to grant to those who mourn in Zion—

to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness instead of mourning,

the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;

that they may be called oaks of righteousness,

the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.

They shall build up the ancient ruins;

they shall raise up the former devastations;

they shall repair the ruined cities,

the devastations of many generations.

This passage gave me assurance in my call this morning. As I said in my previous post, God's working in my heart is evidence of big things to come in my life. If he wasn't planning something big, he would not be drawing on my heart in such a big and painful way. 

His call on my life right now is to bring the good news to the poor, and to bind the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives that our God has set you free in the Son. God also plans to restore me, as he has begun to do today through the encouragement I have received.  I believe that God is preparing me for something big. And if I have learned anything from God in the month I have lived here, it is that when you pray for big things from God, you had better expect big things to happen. 

I'm praying today for grace to keep following God, I don't want anything in my life to become so important that I could not give it up for Christ, and whatever he calls me to do. 

Even though I look around and have nobody but Christ, I can rejoice because God has given me everything I need. 

John3:30

HE must increase, I must decrease.

-Daniel

A Night To Remember In My Spiritual Walk.

Dear friends, family, and loved ones,

I have to make a confession. The 4th marks one full month since I arrived in Topeka, and began blogging consistently. I have to admit that I have not been very up-front about much of what has been going on in my life (more specifically in my heart) since I arrived in Topeka. I will do my best to explain everything as I'm sure you have many questions as to what that statement could mean, and I will also explain how tonight has been the defining night of my walk with Jesus Christ and how I will never be the same after tonight's events. But first I want to apologize for not being honest and open with the readers of this blog. I hoped that by masking many of the less-than-pretty experiences I have had/felt that I would help encourage people to stretch themselves and pursue whatever it is God has for them. But, now I see that this is not the case. As a reader of this blog, I desperately need you to bring my mission, and requests to the throne of God in prayer. I absolutely need you to be praying for me in the most informed way, and you cannot do this unless you are properly informed. This being stated, I plan on being completely open with this blog, so that you can pray for me in my struggles, hardships, victories, and positive experiences. 

To be honest:

The last month of my life, since arriving in Topeka, has been the hardest month of my entire life. I have experienced lows in my spiritual and emotional life that I did not know were possible. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I agreed to move 1,300 miles away from my home. I have been completely isolated from my friends, my family, and any source of comfort that I could ever cling onto. I have experienced moderate depression symptoms as I struggled to find, and even search for a group of friends in this new place I am calling home for the next year. I have felt particularly defeated lately, as I have made many efforts to submerge myself into a group of friends, but not seeing many people willing to reach out to me and simply be my friend. This experience on top of missing my dearest friends and family have been mounting for the past 5 weeks. 

Tonight was a terrifying and beautiful night in my walk with Christ, because all at once, I felt completely separated from everything I once drew comfort and security from. All of the things in my life that I worshipped, including my group of friends, my loving family's support, and even something as simple at watching a football game on TV felt so far away from me. I realized for the first time that everything I held dear to me was back in Florida, and I seriously began to question why I moved away from everything that was such a big part of my life, and made me feel at home?

This mental breakdown occurred in a Starbucks, where I sat by myself and cried. I cried for the first time since moving away from my family. For the first time since leaving my closest friends in Tallahassee. For the first time since getting in the car and driving 22 hours away from everything I had worked so hard to make myself feel secure. I felt vulnerable, and I was terrified.

I left the Starbucks and proceeded to call my mom and cry harder than I have ever cried before. I could not understand how God, in all his goodness and wisdom, could allow me to feel so vulnerable, insecure, and isolated from everything I loved.

During the conversation with my mom, my faith became real to me for the first time in my entire life. 

I realized that God never gave me friends to make me feel secure. God never gave me a loving family to make me feel like they were the ones who supported me always. God never wanted me to place my identity in the people I love, or the places I call home. God saw me in my sin, and his response to my sin and rejection of His love was the cross; so that now I can stand justified in his sight by the blood of his son Jesus, and that is where my security and comfort is truly found. 

Missing Florida is not a bad thing. But telling myself that Florida is the only place I can be truly happy is not what the Gospel says. The Gospel says my joy is in Christ, and in the power of the cross over my shameless sin against God. This realization, that the only thing I need is Christ changed me. I sat in my car in an empty parking lot with only Christ, and my salvation to boast in and rely on for comfort. 

I only have Christ and his work for me on the cross to lean on in Topeka. The good news is that it is the only thing I will ever need for the rest of my life. 

As I prayed in my car for nearly an hour, I began to feel peace rushing over me in my vulnerability. I was alone with Christ, and I felt secure. I had no friends, or family, or comfort from anything but Christ's great love for me. This became real for me for the first time in my life. I understood why all my efforts to connect with people in Topeka seemed to bounce right back at me, because if I had friends right now, I would not need Jesus this much. Praise the Lord for his sovereign wisdom, and plan over my life. 

God is planning something big in my life. As cliche as that sounds, and as often as I throw that phrase around, I believe that it is really true. God would not be continually working in my life to strip away my comfort and security to only find Him at the end of all my schemes to feel secure if He did not want me to realize that He is the one constant rock for me to cling onto, and place my life in his hands to do whatever he wills with my life. But first, God is asking for all of me to commit to following him. Even to the point of pain, and separation from my comfort and pride.

Please pray for me, I need it now more than ever. I need to become a strong man empowered by the love of Christ to do his will in the midst of conditions that, quite frankly, I am sick of. I want to completely devote my life to Christ, to glorify his name and make it known among the hopeless and the broken. I want to go wherever God calls me, and stay there even if it is miserable, as I feel right now. I know that suffering for the sake of Christ will not be in vain. I need faith to believe with my life that the decision to follow God's call away from everything I love and hold dear was for my good and the glorify God. 

I love you all, and appreciate your prayers. Please give me feedback on any questions you may have or things you would like to say to me here: Daniel@trashmountain.com | 785.409.4782

John3:30

He must increase, I must decrease.

-Daniel

Aquaponics, Nostalgia, and Everything in Between.

Today has been a busy day. Recently TMP has been introducing me to their aquaponics* system, which is extremely simple in theory, but very complex to manage. But it has been great to spend some time outside the office and work with my hands. I figured out how to change a busted outlet for a new one today, and I am way proud of myself for that.

A short time ago, my friend Tim talked to me about how life in Kansas was going, and how my heart was doing. I admitted that the move has been tough, and I really miss everyone back home, and he replied by calling me to be focused instead of nostalgic. He really called me out, because as I examine my attitude towards being in Kansas, I have been grateful, but at the same time, I sorely miss Florida and all my friends. Tim said, "Nostalgia never helped anyone get anywhere." This could not have been more true, or applicable to me in this moment. Not a day goes by where I don't think about Tallahassee, or Lakeland and wonder if I'm making the right decision. But I have to trust God, yet another idea that is simple in concept but complex in action.
God is planning something, I can see this because I am nearly 100% funded to stay in Topeka for  year, which initially was a concern for me. But God keeps throwing money my way from places I didn't even know it would come from, just as to say, "Here you go, Daniel. You better get comfortable in Topeka." Which cracks me up, because I can only see such a small piece of the picture that God is working on in this stage in my life. My moss, Jon, called me to think about my time here as short, because in the grand scheme of my entire life, or even bigger: eternity, one year spent in Topeka is a short time. I only have 11 more months to do as much good for TMP as I possibly can. I would challenge you, reader, to commit to wherever you might be in your life right now. Pray that you and I could be used, stretched, and grown as we seek to impact the community we are in for the gospel. Pray that we would grow to love the people around us, even to the point of sacrificing ourselves.

All this being said, I'm sorry if the things I have posted on any social media site seemed really nostalgic, I am praying that God would change my heart to grow in Topeka. I want to grow to know and love people in my community, and build relationships here. I apologize for seeming like I am not grateful, or blessed to have this opportunity right now to work for an amazing ministry.

Thanks for all the support and prayers, the weeks at work are getting busier and busier! TMP continues our church visits this weekend, so pray that people would be globally and missionally minded, and respond to the invitation to give that we present! I love and miss you all!

John3:30

-Daniel


* Aquaponics is a sustainable food productionsystem that combines Aquaculture (raising of aquatic animals such as fish, crawfish, shrimp, etc.) and Hydroponics (the growing of plants in water such as tomatoes, squash, watermelon, lettuce, etc.) in a self sustaining environment. We are currently building a new facility in the Dominican Republic, for more information visit Trashmountain.com.

Love: August 29th, 2013

Its so crazy to believe that I've been in Topeka for nearly a month! It feels like it has been so much longer! Needless to say, I am blessed to be here. I am confident that God is working in me, and will work through me in ways I may never know during my stay in Kansas.
I have been going through a book with Jon, my discipler (is that a word?) and director of operations, called When Helping Hurts that has helped grow my knowledge of ministry, and helped me better understand why TMP does the work it does.
Today 1 John 3:16 really stuck out to me while I was reading. I'm sure you've heard it before as I have, but today it made me think about what I am doing to show love. It says, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers."
I would encourage you to think through this as well. We have the greatest representation of love, in the greatest act of love ever shown. Jesus Christ left the glory and praise of heaven, to come to earth and suffer as we do, to let the very people he created mock him, accuse him, and kill him to bear the weight of our sin and shame towards him. This is love.
I have so many people in my life that I love, and genuinely care deeply for their well being. But what am I doing to sacrificially show love for them? Take it a step further; how can I sacrificially show love to my family? My parents? Even one step further;  how do I show love to people who can't stand me? Or to Non Christians who constantly make jokes of my faith?
 I do a terrible job of showing love sometimes, often when it means the most. But I invite you to pray with and for me, that we could become people who love until it hurts us, because we were loved the same way by Christ. The greatest way we can show the love of Christ is to lay down our lives and be useful to everyone around us. What a great testimony to the love we have received in Christ!

Another quick update: last night I visited Fellowship Bible Church as a volunteer youth leader, and was asked to lead a small group of 11th grade boys within the following weeks! Very excited about the opportunity to walk with these young men and they discover who they are in Christ, and grow together.

As I talked with Jon today, I realized that I need to be praying for faith. Even if I cannot see God doing amazing things right in front of my eyes, I need faith to trust that God is working, and that my time spent in Topeka will be worthwhile because I am serving Christ. I want it to be a joy to serve, and to love people in Kansas, so please be praying for grace in my life to make this possible.

I miss everyone in Florida dearly, thanks for your prayers and support.

John3:30

-Daniel

August 27, 2013

Since I got in my car this morning, I have strongly felt the comfort and peace that I have been praying for since I arrived in Topeka. And so far, the day has continued to amplify the peace and comfort that I needed.

 We had a fun staff meeting this morning. I really enjoy working with such a diverse group of people that God has called into his plan. I know that I say this every update, but God is absolutely blowing my mind with the work he is doing through this ministry. As I heard different department updates today, I was blown away to see God moving and blessing us in ways from giving us an audit as an organization with no recommendations, to letting us expand our staff and office space within the next 2 months! I am truly blessed to be gaining so much experience through this internship, even in just the first 4 weeks. God is faithful, even when I doubt.

I have loved listening to Matt Chandler sermons when I have down time at work, and I am starting a book today with Jon, our director of operations, called When Helping Hurts. 

Today I listened to a sermon by Matt Chandler that now stands as one of the best sermons I have ever heard* called A Call to Pray. It talked about the prayer life of a believer, and the power we have access to through Christ and his work on the cross for us. He made a reference to Psalm 13, which in v1-4 David is lamenting and feeling forsaken by God. He wonders how much longer it will be until God steps in and gives him victory, or hears his cry. But in v5-6 he says this, "But I have trusted in your steadfast love, me heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me."

This passage blew me away, and reminded me of the blessing it is to be able to petition God with our needs. In Isaiah 55 he gives us an open invitation to the throne to bring our requests to him! What a blessing! 

I have been writing things down that really stuck with me for the few sermons I have listened to, these are a few from today:

"God answers all our prayers just like we would answer our prayers if we knew all that he knew." -Tim Keller

"We have the public portrayal of God's seriousness about redeeming and rescuing is in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ."- Matt Chandler

(This one was my favorite from today)
"Regardless of what befalls me, and regardless of what befalls those around me, here's what can never be taken from me: my eternity and future are so secure in Jesus Christ that even the most horrific of sorrows here and now will one day in the light of the knowledge of the glory of God seem like light and momentary afflictions."- Matt Chandler

What a blessing to be reminded of our security in Christ. Today I am thankful for our invitation into God's family, to be able to approach the throne and bring our worries, our fears, our doubts, our insecurities, and our shortcomings and lay them all down as we trust in his steadfast love, and rejoice in our salvation.

John3:30

-Daniel

Great Weekend!

This weekend has been great! I met some college students from the area who are involved in YoungLife, and was surprised when they immediately started inviting me to hang out with them this weekend! I have been praying for weeks that God would bring some people into my life who are passionate about serving him, and around my age group. had it not been such a busy weekend, I would have spent the majority of it with them.
This weekend has been great, but busy. On Saturday, I moved into a new host home a little further south in Topeka. I have been to the DR with two of the family members, and have loved getting to meet the rest of the family! So, as you can imagine, yesterday was full of packing, and unpacking and trying to get settled into a new living space. But, shortly after I got settled I went to church with Jon, the director of operations at TMP, and his wife Elaine. The worship Pastor of the church we went to is actually from Lakeland, and led worship for a long time at a big church where most of my friends attended. I had met him once before in the past, and we officially met and talked for roughly 20 minutes about ministry, music, and Topeka. I offered my services in the worship band, and he said I could definitely be used in the future! This was another goal of mine upon moving to Topeka, to get myself involved in the local church through worship.
Starting this week, Trash Mountain Project is beginning church visits every Sunday morning/evening, so over the course of the next 4-5 weeks I will be running a TMP table at 6-7 churches. This is a unique opportunity in ministry to help people get involved through volunteering, giving, or in prayer to aid the ministry in the work God has called us to do. After two services where we showed our documentary on TMP's work in the Philippines, I am exhausted and looking forward to resting before I head to another church this evening. On a side note, a lady in the first service today, during a time of prayer requests, asked that we be in prayer for a little boy named Grayson from Florida, who has just been diagnosed with Leukemia. This caught me off guard because Grayson and his family go to my home church in Tallahassee, FL! Crazy to think that she heard the request through several people on Facebook, and is now sharing this need for healing in his life with everyone she knows.
This weekend, God has shown his faithfulness to me. I have been disappointed lately because I have not had much luck finding friends my own age, or getting plugged into the church I was visiting. But this weekend, as some things started in motion for me to make some friends AND get involved in my church, I was reminded of the love God has for me. He as called me into something so much bigger than myself. Ministry is far bigger than the people who are called into it, but God calls people into ministry to do mighty things in and through them. I was also reminded of the work TMP is doing overseas this morning, as I watched the documentary.
It made me think of 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 which says, "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light and momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
What a great reminder of the Gospel. My own heart will tell me that my suffering is not worth whatever it is God is doing that I cannot see. The Gospel is worth our suffering, because it is achieving a glory beyond anything we can imagine. My circumstances may not be ideal, but the Gospel is worth my discomfort. God is doing so many more things through TMP than I can dream of telling you. God is so faithful, and I am greatly reminded of his love, and his promises to comfort those who are crushed in spirit.
On another side note: Florida State football starts in less than a week, and I could not be more excited.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support.

John3:30

-Daniel

Prayer Requests

I hope everyone is having a good week so far, please keep these things in mind as you pray for me this week!
Please pray that God would show himself to me in his word, that I would desire it and seek him in my time of reading.
Please pray for rest, I have not been sleeping well and could use a good nights sleep. It makes focusing on work very difficult if I have not had a restful night.
Please pray that I would spend more time in prayer, and would desire to communicate with God and seek his advice on everything in my life, because I believe it will be worth it.
Please pray for a renewed joy for serving in the office.

Please also be praying for CCF, as they start Go week at Florida State this week. This is an incredible ministry opportunity for an unbelievable group of students who are very dear to my heart. Pray that God would shock the campus, and bring people back to himself through the words and service of the 250 students participating in Go Week.

Thanks for reading, I greatly appreciate your prayers.
John3:30

-Daniel

August 19, 2013

This weekend was refreshing, and restful. This was much appreciated due to the fact that I have not been sleeping well for the past two weeks since I arrived.
I tried to locate a college ministry at Topeka Bible Church this Sunday morning, and then I planned on going to the late morning service. But I was unable to find the right room where the group was meeting. This was frustrating at first, but I went to the early service at Topeka Bible Church, and then caught the late morning service at Fellowship Bible Church where I sat with a friend I haven't seen in 2 years since we took a trip to the Dominican Republic together.
As I listened to the pastor speak, I felt that God was really trying to say something to me that day. almost as if he kept nudging me, telling me to pay attention. As Pastor Hishmeh talked about identity in Christ, he explained that most of us fear that, by stepping out of our comfort zone, we will be missing out, or that God is not giving us whats best. He asked us to take some time to pray through that, and I definitely needed to; because I realized that's been the main cause of my anxiety since my move.
One of my greatest fears, as someone who is very relationally oriented, is leaving a city full of people that I love; like Tallahassee or Lakeland, and returning after a year away to find that I missed out on so much experience. That everyone moved on, and formed relationships that I will be behind on. As petty as this may sound to some of you, this is what keeps me awake at night. I am worried that I am missing out on life to the fullest with my friends in Tallahassee, and that things won't be the same when I return.
But God's promises relieve this fear immediately. As my good friend, Anna, has told me time and time again, when you are following God you can never worry that he is holding out on you, or trying to keep good things back from you. That's not what type of loving God we serve. He promises that, to those who love and serve him, he will protect and guide, and give life to the fullest. I am complete in my joy because my life is hidden with God in Christ! No joy is greater than knowing my sins have been pardoned, and I have life with God through Jesus. I am vigorously praying to believe this with my life. To fully know that God is for me, and that this experience will shape who God wants me to be for the rest of my life. I am praying to let go of my fear that God is holding out on me, because the Gospel says it is not true. Please pray that I will understand this, and grow to love and desire God more every day. Please pray, also, for CCF as they kick off Go Week in Tallahassee this coming week. Please pray that the students will have boldness, and clarity as they seek to reach out to the new students on campus. Pray for the staff at CCF, that they would never be overwhelmed, but that they would have peace and understanding about the direction God wants to lead them this coming year.
Please pray for Trash Mountain Project as well. There has been some heavy storms in the Philippines, although we have confirmed with our teams on the ground that they are fine, please pray that God would protect these four ministry sites in Manila.
I love and miss everyone in Florida dearly, I greatly appreciate your prayers and support.
John3:30
-Daniel

August 16, 2013

After 2 whole weeks of working in the offices at Trash Mountain Project, I am humbled and honored to be able to work for such an incredible ministry. The experience  I am gaining while taking part in what God is doing through this ministry is priceless, and I cannot wait to see how God continues to develop my love for ministry. 

When I originally counted the cost of making the move to Topeka, I made sure to try and be realistic about finances, finding a church, making friends, and taking responsibility for my actions. But as I am entering my second week in Kansas, I am sad to say that things are not as glamorous as they seemed from Florida in my preparation. As I have previously stated, things at work are great, and I could not imagine working for a more incredible ministry than TMP. The past two weeks have been very draining, as I attempt to learn a new city, adjust to a new job, and going through the process of finding a church that I can fit in at. I understand that this is only the beginning of my experiences here, but I am asking you to pray for strength, and for faith. 

I find myself exhausted most of the day, just because of how hard this move has been hitting me; physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Please pray for strength to complete the task at hand. I have exhausted my own strength, and can only rely on Christ's power within me if I want to succeed. Please pray for faith, and for assurance that this is the place God has called me to be. I feel very strongly that he brought this opportunity to stretch me, and to mold me. Please pray that I would trust God as the sovereign ruler of my life, who knows what is best for me. One of the hardest parts of having to adjust to a new city, for any extrovert, is not having any friends in a place that is strange. Please pray for Godly men and women to be brought into my life who will encourage and challenge me in my walk with Christ. My hope is to meet new people through a college/ 20 somethings Sunday school class I will be attending this weekend, or to get plugged into another college small group at a different church. 

I understand that everything I have just explained may be a lot for some of you to handle reading. Please do not worry, I know that God is on the throne, and there is no slump too big for him. He is greater than my circumstances, and he will have the victory over my worry, exhaustion, and lonliness. Please pray for me, God is doing incredible things in my heart and through the ministry I have been placed in. Also pray for Josh, the IT director at TMP, and his family as they begin to move up to Topeka at the end of the month. Pray for a smooth transition, and a quick adjustment for his family. 

I should be moving into a new host home around the end of next week, and I am very excited about staying with  a new family I have had previous experiences with doing missions work.

Thank you for taking time to read this, and for your prayers. 

John 3:30

-Daniel

 

Morning Devotions: August 14, 2013

This morning I read Romans 9 for my devotions, which to some may appear to be all about predestination or election. So, rather than make this theologically uncomfortable for everyone to read, I have decided to take a little different route based on what God really showed me and reminded me of this morning.
Paul does a great job of explaining how God chose the Israelites to be his people, but that did not mean that they were all children of God. In verse 6 he says, "For not all who are descended from Israel belong to Israel." Many Jewish people would flash there descent from Abraham as a symbol of their relationship with God, but Paul makes it clear later that God's favor only carried with those who came from Isaac, Abraham's promised son through Sarah. He states in this verse that true membership into God's people is based on faith, and not on physical ancestry.
This is GREAT news for people who understand God's grace. I'm not claiming to understand it fully, because God is teaching me so much, and I know about as much as a child in my faith; but God has reminded me of something truly incredible this morning. My acceptance by the Creator of all the universe is not based on how much money my family makes, where I was born, who my grandparents were, what football team I like, my political views, and it is certainly not based on anything I have done to try and be "good enough" for God; but it is solely based on faith in the fact that God loves me, ad sent his son to take the punishment for the crimes of treason and idolatry against Him. This is GREAT news because the same is true for ALL people. Not just the people who have their life together, or who were born in the south, or for people who are good enough. But EVERYONE. When Jesus gives an invitation to follow him in John 3:16, he says "For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that WHOEVER believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life." When he says whoever believes he means every single person who believes.
In a society where everything we do has qualifications or prerequisites, Jesus offers us something different. You may make a sports team because you perform well enough, or may land a job because you went to a good school, or you may get into a country club because you make enough money; thankfully this is not the case with Jesus. The only prerequisite for being a follower of Jesus is admitting  the truth: that we don't have it all together, that there is nothing we can do to save ourselves from the punishment we deserve, that our life will fall apart and leave us feeling empty without Jesus, that we have no greater purpose than to serve him, and we need his grace to live a life worthy of the sacrifice he gave to save us. It's based on faith in the One who created us to save us from ourselves, and the judgement we have earned.
I am so thankful for grace today, and even more grateful for the people God has placed in my life who have brought me back to him, our out my rebellion and selfishness, time and time again. I am thankful for the cross, because it is enough for a sinner like me to be accepted by a holy and righteous God. I am thankful for love today.
If you've just read all of this and are confused, upset, or curious about anything I have said, please email me! I'd love to talk with you, even if we disagree, I'd love to hear your take on anything I have said.
Please be praying for focus for me today, I'm working on a big project that will take me a long time to complete, and I need diligence and a good work ethic to do it well. Please be praying for rest, as I haven't been sleeping well, and I'm waking up exhausted most mornings. Today I'm praying for CCF as they get closer to kick-off for Go Week, and as some of my dearest friends leave for resident retreat. May it be a time of rest, and preparation for the work God is calling you into at one of the biggest missions fields he can call us to.
I miss everyone in Florida, eat a Publix Sub for me if you get the chance!
John 3:30
-Daniel

Tuesday, August 13th, 2013

After a meeting with Jon, the director of operations at TMP, I FINALLY have a job description! I am very much looking forward to this year with TMP after the meeting I had today because I see the heart of the staff, and how much they care for me and want me to succeed, which is truly a humbling realization. The staff at Trash Mountain is full of hard working, dedicated, compassionate people who I look forward to serving with for the duration of my internship. Jon and I are very determined to make our relationship stronger by turning it into a discipleship. We are going to read the book 'Multiply' by Francis Chan together, and discuss it and our personal lives on a weekly basis. I am VERY excited for this, it will probably end up being my favorite part of the internship.
Also I am excited to announce that I am planning on going on a missions trip with TMP as a leader, which will be a unique experience. I have been on missions trips before, even with TMP, but I am very excited to see the trip from the perspective of a leader. My goal to get on a trip to the Philippines, once we schedule one hopefully this upcoming spring! This would be my fist missions trip on over two years, and TMP has offered to pay for my entire trip which is an enormous blessing. Words cannot begin to describe how grateful I am to be a part of the work God is doing in this ministry.
When I first moved to Topeka, I wanted to see if there were any places to hear live music, as I have enjoyed doing that in the past. And, much to my surprise, I met a band outside Burger Stand yesterday on my lunch break, who told me that I should check out a few bands who are playing in Lawrence, Kansas on Thursday. I did a little bit of research, and I was even more surprised to find out that there are several small venues in Lawrence, and one bigger one that a few of my favorite bands will be playing at over the next few months. This was comforting, and exciting to find out in the middle of an exhausting day in the office.
Things at TMP are becoming more and more busy as we move closer to our biggest fund raiser event of the year in October called SPOKEN. Last year we saw an incredible 700% increase in giving as we shared the story of what God is doing in and through this ministry, specifically unveiling our recent work in the Philippines which had just began around the time of SPOKEN last year. We are praying for big things this year, and would ask that you join us in praying for God to blow our minds, yet again, with the generous hearts of the people of Topeka and the surrounding areas.
Please pray for me, as I begin to plug myself into the local church. Pray that God would give me friends who are passionate about seeking him, and who want to see me fall in love with God and the work he is going to do in my heart. Pray that I would continue to desire God's word, and to lift his name high in my life as I wait for him to move. Please pray for CCF, the campus ministry at Florida State University, as they begin Go Week, and campus outreach to new freshmen on campus. Pray for boldness, and clarity from the Director, and among the students in the ministry. And last of all, please pray for Trash Mountain Project, that God would continue to reveal himself to us, and that he would direct us during this time of preparation and research. Pray for Brett, the founder, that he would feel at peace, and not be overwhelmed. Pray for Jon, that he would not be stressed, but continue to work hard and be an encouragement to me, and everyone else in the office.
I miss everyone in Florida If you get the chance to go to the beach, do it for me, please.
John 3:30
-Daniel

Monday; August 12, 2013

This morning for devotions I read Romans 8.
Romans 8 us such a great challenge to live a Spirit filled life. It clearly states in more than one way, "Those who are in the flesh cannot please God" (v.8). It is only through the death and resurrection of Christ that we have life with the Father, so why would we expect to live in the flesh we needed saving from, and expect to have life? The hope provided in the Gospel for us is given a fresh perspective in verse 15, "For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons.."
I find myself wanting to know God as Paul did, in verse 18 he disregards his current sufferings because he knows that the glory of God in his sufferings is worth it. I see in my own life that I constantly pray for God to deliver me from sufferings, or keep me from them altogether, but rarely pray for God's name to be lifted high in the midst of my suffering. Even while I'm in Kansas, still waiting to make friends, nervous about finding a new church, and unsure about completely how long I will be here I pray and ask God to change things to make me more comfortable, instead of praising God for the things he has done to get me here and trusting in his plan. As one of my good friends, Isaac, once told me, "It's hard to carry your cross when comfort is your god." I'm praying for God's name to be lifted high in my life regardless of my circumstances. I want to be able to rejoice in my sufferings because I know God is with me, and as verse 28 says, "and we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose." God's promise to be with me is clear here, as well as in verse 31b, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" I have the promise of the presence of the creator of the universe who says that nothing in this world can come against him, and he promises to sanctify me in my sufferings if I hold onto him. I pray earnestly this morning to be made more like Christ, who relies on the strength of the Father and seeks to glorify him with whatever he does.

Please continue to pray for me as I am in this time of transition. I visited two churches this weekend, and I will probably revisit both of them over the next month. Unfortunately I am still looking for a friend group to plug into, but God has been showing me during this time where I have lack of fellowship and community that he is all I really need. I don't have any one else's passion to ride off of, or anyone to make me want to have a stronger relationship with Christ. It has to come from my heart, and it has to be sincere. Please continue to pray that I would have a burning desire for God's word, to read it and understand it, to memorize it, and to share it. Please pray for God to keep working in my heart, and to change my will, my affections, and my priorities to reflect his heart.
My prayers go out to the Downs family today, who have just parted ways with TMP and are moving back to Florida. I know that whatever God calls them to do, they will excel at, and I believe heaven will be a more crowded place one day because of the work they will do where the Lord calls them.
My prayers also go out to Christian Campus Fellowship at Florida State University as they prepare for Go week, and another year of campus ministry in a place that is so dark, and whose heart has turned away from God. I am praying that they would be bold as an organization, and as individual members. I pray that God would do a mighty work in the midst of the students at FSU and CCF, and that the name of Christ would be glorified in everything they say and do.
Sorry for any grammatical/spelling errors today; I did not get much sleep this weekend. Please pray for me when you think about it, I miss everyone in Florida will all of my heart, and I pray for you daily.
John 3:30
-Daniel

Daily Devotion: August 9th 2013

Continuing on my journey through the book of Romans, I read chapter 7 this morning, and it completely tore me apart in the best way.
I loved reading Romans 7 today, but so many things Paul writes about confuse me, or I am not able to understand them, so I ended up reading Romans 7 about 3 times. I love that Paul goes through the every day struggle of the Christian faith in verses 13-25. He has just finished explaining in chapter 6 and the beginning of chapter 7 how we are dead to sin, and the law has no power to condemn those who are in Christ, and now we are free to live by the Spirit. He explains that the law has just proved our need of a savior.
 We see the law, and the commandments seem impossible to keep because they are. There is not a day in my life that will pass that I won't covet something, or whore my heart out to idols of this world that won't satisfy me. The law does not make me sin, but sin has taken a hold of the law and made disobeying it look enticing, fun, or and pleasurable. I am hopeless against the temptation of sin on my own. This proves my need for grace, and sacrifice in my place. There is nothing in my heart that is able to save itself, but Jesus came and stood firm against the temptation on the devil himself and took my place on the cross, suffering the worst form of death penalty for my shameless acts of treason against a righteous God.
I am praying today that the facts stated above, would begin to change my heart, and my desires. I pray that the act of Jesus coming to die for my sin would captivate my heart, and motivate and empower me to live for him, as one who has died to my sin. I want Christ's death, burial, and resurrection to change my behavior for the glory of God.
Paul goes on to further explain in Romans 7 that we can desire so strongly in our hearts to glorify God, and serve Him, but our flesh is unable to carry it out. He says, "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate...For I have the desire in me to do what s right, but not the ability to carry it out." This is typical of every follower of Jesus. The truth is, Jesus is constantly changing our desires as we seek Him, to desire to do things that will glorify him. But the gospel says my flesh is selfish, weak, and unwilling to do what God wants. In my own power I am unable to serve God, even though I may have the intentions to. It will take Jesus showing up in my life to change me, and empower me to do the good things he wants me to do to glorify Him. I'm praying for just that, in this time of quiet and still in my life. One, of many areas in my life where I am lacking is being still, and resting in Christ. I enjoy running about, doing things at 100mph with people all the time. But God has given me this time, for whatever reason to grow in him without distractions, to find out something that I couldn't see while I wasn't so focused on Him. Please pray that my desire for Christ, and my desire to lift His name high in my life would grow from my heart into my actions. That through Christ, I would be able to do the things my heart wants to do.
John3:30
-Daniel